Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
