Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
