I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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