3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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