My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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