What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
