What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
