So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize