he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
