Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
