I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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