I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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