wrigley field is MILF paradise
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i think i have two assholes
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
