I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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