Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
