opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I would ride that face into the sunset
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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