i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
