We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
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The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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