just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I fill condoms, not promises.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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