shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
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And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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