Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
