I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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