So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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