i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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