if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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