you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just had sex on a roof
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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