I heard we made out
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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