Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
being pregnant is like rehab
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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