That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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