it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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