My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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