I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
