Define "chronic" masturbator.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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