That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
