Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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