Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
