i don't like sucking hair
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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