Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
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