Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She's JV to your varsity
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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