That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
