SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
