I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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