Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Pooping to opera.
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