I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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