:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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