I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
