I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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