Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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