Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
