"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
