Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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