happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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