So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
