I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
