The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
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It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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