I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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