Even the bartender felt bad for me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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